Sit. Rep. #25: Please, no splinters

From the old guy;  Note: Different countries/cultures call the same part different things- ie: they use different words to mean the same thing even when we are using the language.

1- A while back I was asked what single thing I wanted to have if I was ever lost and in a survival situation.  My answer apparently stunned the group.  My answer was an AXE.  (Yes, you can spell it AX.)

     “Why would you want an axe?” was the reply. 

Let me see what I can do with an axe:  cut firewood, defend myself, use the steel to strike a spark to start a fire, build shelter, dig if I have to (please do not ever use an axe to dig unless your life depends on it – it will damage the bit of the axe), build animal traps, fashion fish hooks, dress animals for cooking and fur for wearing, build fish seines, fish traps and fishing nets, hammer spikes into the ground (put hammering with digging – in the only if you have to category), make spikes. and probably more.  The axe is my most versatile tool in the woods.

A- Why do fish live in saltwater?
B- Because pepper makes them sneeze.

2- The Handle parts (sometimes called the Haft) of the axe: the knob is sometimes broken into 2 parts – the toe & the heel, the throat – sometimes called the Grip, Belly, and the Shoulder.

Notice the innertube and Paracord protecting the handle…

3- How do we care for the handle?
Do not leave it outside to weather or rot.
Do not leave it on the ground.
Do not leave it inside to dry out.
Sand off all splinters – sand really smooth.

    I have used old tire inner tubes for this…  Cover the first ~ 6 inches of the handle below the head of the axe with several layers of inner tube to protect the handle in case you miss your target.  Like I said I have used old inner tubes (they are free – slice them longways or sideways – either way, works – then tie the sliced inner tube on the axe handle),  Rope wrapped around the handle also works (think like you are whipping the end of a rope),  Yes they make commercial rubber or leather protectors if you want to spend the $$$.

     I like Boiled Linseed Oil for the wooden handles.  It comes from Flaxseed and is totally natural. Warning:  Linseed Oil rags and/or paper towels do spontaneous combust.  Separate & store outside individually or in a sealed metal can or burn them asap.  Do not pile them up anywhere.
     Treat synthetic handles likewise – but without the linseed oil.

The best recipe is to use linseed oil as follows:   
Once a day for a week.    
Once a week for a month.
Once a month for a year.    
Once a year forever.

C- Boy it’s cold in here.  How can we get some heat to warm up the house?
D- Light your birthday cake candles that ought to be aplenty.

4- Have you cooked a dessert this week?  The main course?  Vegetables?  Bread?  Have you kept a log of your chores for Family Life MB?
5- Have you chosen which MBs you are going to have completed when we get back together?

E- Where are you from?
F- I’m a country boy.
E- Oh really?
F- Yep. France.

6- When handing an axe to someone, how do you do it?  Hold the handle with the head down and offer the handle to the other person.  I do not let go until the other person says: “Thank You”.  That tells me that they have control of the axe.  When I let go – I automatically step back just in case they do not have a good grip.

Stay healthy & safe,

The Big Ginormous Book of Clean Jokes and Riddles: by Thomas Mercaldo

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